Maxine didn't call last night - she knows I'm strong so maybe thought I didn't need any moral support. No-one to tell that I was made redundant either, must go through my address book and find someone! Wine was good last night, but it made me sick around 3am this morning - note to self, keep off the Liebfraumilch!! Had time to check myself out in the mirror this morning, MUST lose some weight and MUST sort out the wrinkles.
Still in slippers and Ging Gown (pet word for dressing gown..... cute eh?) Need to really focus on what to do next. Found myself checking out Gone Too Soon web-site today, things must be bad.
Just finished watching a daytime documentary on Africa and Charity work carried out there by Gap Year students......... I could do that, in fact Charidy sounds just up my street, I've donated to Oxfam several times and once shook a charity box outside Woolworths for a whole Saturday afternoon, so I definitely think I have got what it takes to be selfless, and to give me a purpose in life.
He who should not be named called round this morning to collect the ornamental bird bath from the garden, he didn't think I was in (thought I was at work) - the way he sneaked through the Honeysuckle was pathetic, and what made it more worthwhile to watch was the fact it was covered in newly dumped bird shit, and in his hurry to STEAL it, he failed to notice a great big streak of green/white shite down the front of his nice suit. Why does he want the bird bath?......... I guess Carole (with an eeeeeeee) must have put him up to it, maybe she intends to start a bird sanctuary to match that sanctimonious, smug, pug like face of hers. Who cares?? I don't. Time for a chocolate digestive or 12.
Will start weight loss programme tomorrow, but some L'Oreal (cos I'm worth it) and apply to some Charities.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
ooooppppsss
Just read my last Blog, sorry for the grammar, need more wine to steady the old brain cells - but you get the gist - sad, nearly 50 somthing, looking for something new.
Freedom!! ermmmmm I think so......
Well, this is it, stood on the steps of the Town Hall, Divorced......D I V O R C E D!! Never thought it would come to this..........oh there he is scuttling away making sure he dosn't make eye contact..... Die I tell you Dieeeeeeee. Did I ever really love the man, an egotistical, back stabbing newt of man (can't really say I mean that, it's what Father always called him, but fits my mood just fine for now)
Come to think of it, I really am wonder if it is me.......... me, I am 49, Divorced, one difficult and demanding daughter..... no lets me honest, she IS a bitch - I tried so very hard with her, maybe too hard to make sure she didn't turn out like me, all shy and put upon. I made sure she had confidence and self worth, rather too much self worth now I think. She hasn't said she loves me since she knew what it meant, I've always felt that she is saving those words like Ebeneezer Scrooge, if she says it too often, she will run out. I love my daughter, but I feel bereaved for what I have lost, or even what I thought I was creating. I am sure she will phone me tonight to explain why she didn't meet me at Court and check how I am feeling.
I work for an Insurance Company, basic admin really, but a really integral part of the department, I have worked there for 7 years. In fact I am on my way back now, for some moral support and a feeling of being really needed. I told a couple of people about today, Trudie and Jon, so I guess they have the necessary people in my department where I am this morning so that they can be there for me and give me supportive hugs and knowing glances "you'll be fine Rita!"
Back At Work
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! I have been made redundant. Oh yes I got the knowing glances all right, but not what I thought, they were "glad it's not me, what was her name again" that's right, Trudie..... up my own ass Trudie and Jon...... could I be anymore camp, told no-one about where I had been this morning....... ok I do keep myself to myself, and ok not many people know who I am, and ok maybe my job isn't as important as I thought it was but REALLY. I get the distinct feeling that everyone thought that it's ok, Rita (or whats her name) wont mind, but one of us has to go, and she never comes on the nights out anyway.
They have offered me £8460.50 to leave, today, now..... this also includes the £10.50 I have alread paid towards the Christmas Party (which I never go to, but like a Gym Membership, I like to feel part of the scene)
So, great, what now...... after catching the bus home, I'll have a glass of wine and wait for Maxine to call, that's my daughter's name. He who shall not be named moved out 9 months ago to live with Carole (with an """E"""") she I will open a bottle of wine and plan the rest of my life.
Come to think of it, I really am wonder if it is me.......... me, I am 49, Divorced, one difficult and demanding daughter..... no lets me honest, she IS a bitch - I tried so very hard with her, maybe too hard to make sure she didn't turn out like me, all shy and put upon. I made sure she had confidence and self worth, rather too much self worth now I think. She hasn't said she loves me since she knew what it meant, I've always felt that she is saving those words like Ebeneezer Scrooge, if she says it too often, she will run out. I love my daughter, but I feel bereaved for what I have lost, or even what I thought I was creating. I am sure she will phone me tonight to explain why she didn't meet me at Court and check how I am feeling.
I work for an Insurance Company, basic admin really, but a really integral part of the department, I have worked there for 7 years. In fact I am on my way back now, for some moral support and a feeling of being really needed. I told a couple of people about today, Trudie and Jon, so I guess they have the necessary people in my department where I am this morning so that they can be there for me and give me supportive hugs and knowing glances "you'll be fine Rita!"
Back At Work
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! I have been made redundant. Oh yes I got the knowing glances all right, but not what I thought, they were "glad it's not me, what was her name again" that's right, Trudie..... up my own ass Trudie and Jon...... could I be anymore camp, told no-one about where I had been this morning....... ok I do keep myself to myself, and ok not many people know who I am, and ok maybe my job isn't as important as I thought it was but REALLY. I get the distinct feeling that everyone thought that it's ok, Rita (or whats her name) wont mind, but one of us has to go, and she never comes on the nights out anyway.
They have offered me £8460.50 to leave, today, now..... this also includes the £10.50 I have alread paid towards the Christmas Party (which I never go to, but like a Gym Membership, I like to feel part of the scene)
So, great, what now...... after catching the bus home, I'll have a glass of wine and wait for Maxine to call, that's my daughter's name. He who shall not be named moved out 9 months ago to live with Carole (with an """E"""") she I will open a bottle of wine and plan the rest of my life.
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